It kinda makes me sad to think I dont have a daughter. U know, it's different when u have a girl. U guys are in control of weddings, u gossip and hang out and when most moms become a grandma, from their daughter that grandma usually gets the most privileges. Being on this app I see so many women bash their mother in law and say things like my mil wont be watching my kids and blah blah blah and im just like dang I would retire to be a full time grandma just like my mom was for me. I imagine being home w my grandkids and letting my son and his wife work and date whenever they wanted and leave the kids w me just like I did w my mommy. I just hope the women my sons decide to marry share similar things w me so we can get along well and my future grandkids can basically use my home as a second home. Idk I'm crazy I think about stuff like this all the time. My husband and I talk about this all the time too because we look forward to our future involving grandchildren.
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— I look forward to being this involved as well. I don’t really get along with my MIL because of things she has done but I try to have a relationship with her for the kids.
— I know plenty of women who have amazing MIL’s (I’m not one of them LOL) I’m hopeful for you in the eventual grandma years for you to be very involved and welcomed to be so! My mom also struggles with this, I’m her only daughter of 5 kids and I can see how she struggles with wanting to be more involved with my brothers kids etc.
— @katwillbrand it's hard. I hope I'm likable at the very least lol if I had a daughter I know I would be first in line w everything. I dont have a mother in law like that but the woman who was my husbands foster mom is cool, but my husbands moved on from that family so he doesnt bother so it's not on me.
— @day1401 yes!! When my mom was alive my brothers ex loved her and my mom was always involved in my niece and nephews life so much so that when my bros ex brother had a baby, she claimed him as her grandchild just because he was cousins w my niece and nephew. I know it sucks for ur mom. I know she just wanted to be there.
— @aussiexjane, i think the same thing that’s why I always wanted a daughter because god knows I always put my mom first obviously, there is no one I trust more other than the woman that raised me. And I mean I truly believe that if my MIL wasn’t the way she is I would totally include her more and be happy to be around her but that’s not the case. I hope it goes well for us boy moms 😬😂
— If this helps, my mother has never even met my children. Not once. However my mil lives right next door. She helped plan my wedding, we gossip about things, she is my go to sitter, she is just fantastic. When your sons get older try and be a good mil. You be the mil that you want. Hopefully the women your sons choose will adore you
— I wish I had a daughter too I think about this too 😭 I’m still able to have kids it’s only a matter of when and if I get a girl My in law relationship is rocky But if my boys do have a family I know what kind of mother and in law I want to be I have definitely learned from my in law what I don’t want to be!!!
— It sounds like you would be an amazing MIL and grandmother. Many people talk negatively about their MIL's because they aren't acting how they should. I don't think you have anything to worry about, your son's will hopefully end up with wonderful women who will love you as much as they do.
— @katwillbrand right. Same here I always put my mom 1st but I dont think I would be opposed to sharing if I had an actual mil. And sometimes people are just bad and we cant help that so I can still see how some people feel about their mil but I hope it does go well for the both of us in the future as well. Thanx for ur kind words
— I LOVE this. Im distant with my family and my husbands family is completely out of the picture. Its literally me and him and no one else. One friend that can be relied on in case of serious emergencies. We havent had a date since Athena has been born. We havent been away from athena except for Cassies csection. It sucks to not have family support, sometime it really crushes our spirits. But i know my girls wont have to deal with that!!! I will be that grandma that will bake them what they want, teach them to sew and crochet... ill be the one who will take my grandkids while my kids enjoy a moment of peace because its so hard to be in parent mode all the time. I love everything you said
— @leenie I'm so sorry ur mother is not involved. I often feel bad for people missing out on watching kids grow up but in the end it's their loss. I'm so glad u have that. That does actually make me feel better but makes me feel sad that ur mom isnt involved :( I would hope the woman my kids marry will have wonderful relationships w their own mother as well as me but we dont live in a perf world lol
— @nessaa EXACTLY lol. I'm scared I'll have another boy. But yes I took notes from my mom. She was so awesome and my brothers ex had a great relationship w my mother as well as her own mother and I just hope I end up like that.
— @vvrobinson yes yes and yes. My mom was all of that and above. As long as my husband and I had jobs and provided for ourselves she would always offer to babysit and she would tell us she understood parents need breaks and she was so supportive and just always there and she helped both my husband and I get to where we are now and I just hope and pray that one day I'm a grandma and mil like her. My husband and mom had a wonderful relationship and his family was his foster family so he doesnt really consider them family because a whole mess of stuff so now that my mom is gone we see how hard it really is for us. We are the same we dont have baby sitters or anything we work and come home and take care of our kids and I even feel bad having someone watch my little while I go to work. It's so hard. U have ur girls and u guys love u girls so they are so blessed so whenever they become parents they will be blessed to have u guys as they have u guys now ❤
— @emily526 awe thats so sweet thank u. Besides having our kids that is one of my dreams is to be a great stay at home grandma lol yes people have reasons why they dont deal w their mil but some people just like to be a bitch because it's their kids and a combination of many other bitchy things lol
— @aussiexjane first of all im so sorry for your loss. I have an abusive dysfunctional family past so marrying my husband gave me a chance to break the cycle and start a healthy beautiful one. Its hard on us being alone but it's worth it. We will raise our kids with proper values and on pure love. Your children have that as well, i know they will love having your support and help 💕
— @aussiexjane, that’s really good my mom is kinda far from me And his mom is in and out of drugs so it’s annoying I really don’t have a close friend so I would love nothing more to have a daughter 💕 And do girly stuff with her especially when she’s a teenager But if it’s meant to happen it will!
— @vvrobinson thank you doll. I'm just so thankful I have my own children that I can be a great mother to just like my mom was for me. I'm so sorry about ur past but definitely happy you found someone who loves and cares for u. I agree it's most def worth spending every hour with my kids.
— @nessaa yes me too. My boys and that includes my husband are not into anything I like to do. I mean, I get it but if I had my girl I would be so complete lol
— We are pretty independent parents, meaning we don’t really ask family for help- just fun visits with us. That being said, my mother in law has watched my daughter a few times alone and my mother never has. My mother in law also visits more- where as my mother talks to me more about my daughter- how is she doing etc. MIL lives an hour away and my mom lives 2 hrs away. My mother in law was also very involved in my wedding and baby shower where my mom helped financially back the wedding (not interested in planning) and attended the shower. Dynamics are different in every family- I think a big part is how close you live to your sons. And how close their wife’s mother lives to them. I do understand what you are saying though! My baby girl is my world. I’m having a boy now, so I’ll get to see the other side too.
— @amysbabies yes but at least ur mil is involved ya know? I know some families will rather do it on their own and be independent parents but u know if need be I want to be the grandma like bring my babies over for the weekend or whatever the case may be. Yes, I lived 5 mins from my mom and I never thought about my kids possibly moving away from me now ur making me even more sad lol life sucks but yes my bestfriend is an older lady and she has a son and daughter and when I told her I cant wait to participate in wedding and be full time grandma shes the one who was like oh honey, its TOTALLY different when u have a girl.
— You’re still young. You can try for baby number 3
— @rocilove4 lol NO!!! I'm old now and I will be really sad to have another boy
— What your 30 that’s so young
— But what if you have a girl
— Plus 3 kids is not a lot. I don’t want you to regret it later on for not giving it another go. Plus it doesn’t have to be right now give it 1 or 2 years